.... And Now, Here's Something That I Hate!!!! - The Series, Pt. 1 - Unions

Motherfucking Bob Kinnear and his pouch-licking TTC union. The NDP. David Miller. Liberal pussies in general.



And now something that I love;

So true.

R. Kelly is Sexy!!

Sheeeeeeeiiiiiitttttt; Stormin' Mormon's amazing amazingness and Riskay's mad fresh hiphop stylings got me thinking of how much I love R. Kelly, the velvet voiced lady killer behind such bedrooms jams as Same Girl, Trapped In the Closet and my perennial favourite You Remind Me of My Jeep. If this boy don't make you want to get down to some sexin' you ain't got a pulse.

Amazing Amazingness: The Series, Pt.3: Lipstick on Your Collar 2.0

Back in the day, when a woman had suspicions that her man might be messing around behind her back, there were a number of investigative methods she could employ to determine whether or not it was so: look for lipstick on his collar, check his suit jacket for phone numbers and matchbooks from seedy hotels, etc.

Obviously, dudes have caught on to how they're getting caught, and as a result "ladies" have had to start stepping up their game so as not to be made a fool.

Which brings us to the latest and most obvious approach to sniffing out a skanky adulterer -- literally...

Please see instructional video below:

New York City Bars: Twenty Dollars Well Spent

Double Down Saloon
14 Avenue A, Alphabet City
Me: PBR and bourbon $6
The Old Lady: Bud Light $3
Neither of us had the guts: famed bacon martini, $7


Also, the old lady wouldn't ride the horse.


Greenpoint Tavern
188 Bedford Avenue, Williamsburg
Me and the Old Lady: 32 oz Bud Light in styrofoam cup

Brooklyn Surf Bar
139 North 6th Street, Williamsburg
Drinks weren't really all that cheap, but seriously, when you've got sand beach in your bar, who the fuck is counting pennies.

Duff's
Scenically located on the shore of the east river at 3rd and Kent, Brooklyn
Closed due to bathroom incident. Purchased novelty commemorative t-shirts, $12. Walked briskly from abandoned east river warehouse district back to relative safety of 3rd and Berry Street.

Amazing Things Said Today: The Green Issue

Ashely to Steve (via her email signature): "Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail"

Steve to Ashley: BURNS!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS; "Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail"

Ashley to Steve: It's my answer to global warming and shit.

Steve to Ashley: You know I HATE the fucking environment.

Snoop Dogg Loves His Stories

Foshizzle!!! Snoop Dogg recently appeared on The View and gave mad props to his favourite stories; One Life to Live. Apparently the cozy feelings are mutual, he'll be making a guest appearance on the show May 8 and 9. Here's his amazing hyphy remix of the OLTL intro theme;

... also, Barbara Walters likes Snoop "as a gangster."

A New Series: Shit Canned Stories: Pt. 1. Stormin' Mormon

Last night, after I was done talking to the random strange guy from the bar who followed me to the convenience store (maybe I invited him to tag along, not really sure - either way, he told me he was homeless, living at Covenant House... I made him recite the address to prove that this was true... then I think I gave him $10 and jumped in my cab to go home), I couldn't find the cab chit that Pretty Like a Movie Star had apparently just given me (found it this morning - in my clutch, obv) I had to get the driver to pull over at the bank, where two GIANT police officers were hanging out... they held the door for me while I stumbled around which was amazing... and then I did a cannonball into my bed, fully dressed - minus shoes, thank god - and promptly announced to the talent that I was shitfaced and about to puke. He ran around half-asleep trying to find a)a pail for me to puke in (false alarm - thank god), and b)my cat (OBV - what else do I scream for when I'm drunk?)

Amazing Amazingness: The Series, Pt. 3: Daddy's Little Princess