There's no celebrity who sends me running for some hand cream faster than Renee Zellwegger. Let me explain. You know that feeling when you come in from the cold and your hands are so tight and dry that all you want is the sweet relief of cream to hydrate the hell out of them? Renee makes me feel like I just came in from a bitter Canadian snow storm without wearing any mitts.
But on my face.
I feel actual physical pain when I look at her mug and find myself fluctuating between wanting to pinch her cheeks to see if they'd actually move, and wanting to punch her in the eyes to see if they could disappear any further into her face. I'm just sayin'.
What happened to Renee?
There is photographic proof that she could at one time, register a full smile:
Evidence also exists that she could at one time, shake things up a bit facial-wise:
So how did we go from this:
To this??
(ignore the awful haircut- not the point of this post, although it rightfully deserves its own investigation):
I blame Tom Cruise.
Also botox. But mostly Tom Cruise.
It’s kind of ironic that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson presented the award for Best Visual Effects at the Oscars this year, because I was shocked to see him working the red carpet with the best visual effect I’ve seen in a long time: his neck.
