Tuesday, April 20, 2010

INDIE ROCK MAKES ME WANT TO STAB PENCILS IN MY OWN EARS!!!


The new Broken Social Scene record is (predictably) terrible. What the fuck is it with indie rock bands all deciding they need to be a. Genesis b. a second rate version of Slint (or any other pretentious mid-90s post-rock band) c. the E-Street Band... or in BSS’ case, a combination of all three of these, plus a healthy dose of Irene Cara (the broad who sang the theme to Flashdance)?

Friday, May 29, 2009

Forward Christian Soldiers!

Okay, so the major outrage about this article is focused on revelations of Bush/Rumsfeld’s bizarro crusades role-playing fantasy, but what the fuck is the deal with top secret US military documents looking like a grade 8 geography project?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

No, Fuck You and the Shetland Pony Your Adorable Dog Rode In On


I'm not exactly sure what my esteemed compatriot, who, as it happens, is employed by another large international publishing house, was googling for when she came across FUCKYOUPENGUIN.blogspot.com, but thank god she's found this gem. Verbally bitch-slapping cute overloading animals. That's entertainment!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Amazing Amazingness, The Series, Pt. 8: Thrillbillies Double Wide

If you missed this amazingly amazing choreographed ATV ballet last year, perhaps you're not already familiar with Travis Pastrana and his merry crew of Thrillbillies. Prepare to become acquainted with awesomeness. Peep this shit. Nitro Thrillbillies 2: Double Wide.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Young Hollywood. I love it.

When did Dakota Fanning become a little lady?
Also, is it wrong that I always think of Amy Poehler and The Dakota Fanning Show?


Speaking of young Hollywood, here’s a nice visual:









A side-by-side comparison of Lindsay Lohan at age14 and her little sister Ali Lohan, aspiring singer/model/actress/train wreck like her sister, at the same age. Yes, 35 year old Ali Lohan is actually only 14.


The Lohan family is awesome.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Amazing Amazingness, The Series, Pt. 7: "My Book Decapitated Michael Ondaatje"

Couldn't tell you what the fuck Etcetera and Otherwise is about, but I'm pretty sure this is the best book trailer I've ever seen!



EtceteraandOtherwise.com

Friday, September 26, 2008

Amazing Amazingness, the Series, Pt. 6: Cheese Racing


Sweet Merciful Fuck do I ever want a grilled cheese and a cold certified! Next to NASCAR(obvs) and Skeet Shooting, UK stylee CheeseRacing has got to be the most exciting, thrill-a-minute, straight-balls-out-adrenaline-pumping sport going. Check this shit now!!

Friday, September 12, 2008

CJBox.net: John Cullum vs. Sam Ellitott

Jimmeny, check out today’s poll on CJBox.net, the topic: “Who would be the best Jess Rawlins if the BLUE HEAVEN movie is actually made?” Sam Elliot is totally kicking ass, but I’ve been thinking about this for quite a while and I've gotta say John Cullum is the man for the job. Yet he’s not even on the freaking list! Christmas! WTF are his webmasters thinking!?!?!?!?!

vs.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Bryan McCabe to be run out of town on a rail??


After waking up from his mid-afternoon nap, Leafs’ GM Cliff “Father Time” Fletcher made yet another bewildering comment to the press, confirming, yet again, that he has absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on with the organization. When reached for comment by the Star, Richard Peddie said, “Cliff looked so serene snoozing on his couch that I figured I’d just let him sleep for another couple of hours.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Shit Canned Stories, The Series, Pt. 2: Vage Stylee

Straight from the Notorious V.A.G.E.

Mornin’ Betches,

I too have been on the piss for the past five days. A synopsis;

Wednesday, drinking and BBQing with my dad in Burlington

Thursday, drinking and gardening with Lisa and my mom in Burlington. Evening activities, ice cream at Marble Slab in Oakville. Tasty. Also, first three episodes of Generation Kill. Amazing! Best line: (to Iraqi in dashiki thing): “Hey buddy, it’s ten in the morning, don’t think you it’s time you changed out of your pajamas?”

Friday, drinking on balcony with alcoholic buddies from the Sault, drinking at coke party on deck above circa with Hells Angels and downtown bar staff delinquents, eating roti at Alberts

Saturday, skateboarding, drinking and BBQing in Don Mills, watching the Great Outdoors and drinking, drinking at the Tap with coked out alcoholics from Sault, drinking and watching coked out strippers at the House of Lancaster

Sunday, hanging out with Snyders and drinking, drinking at punk rock show.

Monday, recovering

Today, still recovering.

The Governator, Cumming Day and Night!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Stuff I Love, The Series: Pt 1- Dawson Leery does not a pretty crier make

If it weren't for YouTube, how would I be able to relive the amazing amazingess that is Dawson Leery's crying face?

Reason number 3565 why I am so thankful for YouTube:






PS James Van Der Beek is totally hot. Come back to my TV!!!